Talk about living in denial (which in fact, someone should just carry this moron TO “The Nile” and submerge his Gulliver well underneath same for say — 12 minutes), THIS pilgrim has CLEARLY suffered from:

  1. Severe oxygen deprivation while in the womb —I’m guessing for ~8 of the 9 months that his mother carried him, that umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck about 3 turns
  2. Being the offspring of a pair of intellectually-deprived parents, each of whom suffered severe oxygen deprivation while in the womb (See #1 above)
  3. Being brought up by wolves; wait — being ABANDONED by wolves!
  4. Never having a full-length mirror
  5. Repeatedly dropped on head during his “formative years”
  6. Living his entire miserable & self-absorbed life in a BIZARRE fantasy world, where the only “World View” that he’s had available to him is the inside of his own ASS

Without further ado: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2666378-man-spends-20000-on-surgery-to-look-like-david-beckham-plans-even-more?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial

Dick Jones predicts that when the surgery is complete, here is what this retart will look like:


O.K. — Dick Jones is clearly NOT speechless — let’s give the guy a BIG hand — he’s gonna look EXACTLY like David Beckham! Now I see why tigers eat their young — THIS Jamoke needs to be dropped off on an island full of cannibals most rikki-tik!



It Must Be Love!

TWO count ’em TWO spider bites (from the SAME spider, maybe?) in five months – on the same man’s How-Do-You-Do.  Coincidence?  Dick Jones doesn’t think so; as we all know in this new, crazy World – love takes on many new forms and expressions:


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