Dick Jones Used To See All, Hear All, And Know All…

…with perfect clarity – too bad my buddy stole this from me when I took it off one day back in 1964, when I was in the shower:


At the time this picture was taken, I was admiring my next door neighbor lady using the X-Ray Vision feature – DAMN I miss that thing!


“Indiana Jones…

…And The Temple Of The Lost Geezers” — Dick Jones has gone ahead and helped Geezer #1 — Steven Spielberg — name his fifth installment of this four-installments-too-many Money-Grab:


Geezer #2 — Harrison Ford — fresh off ANOTHER Never-shouldda-been-made snoozer, is rumored to have just snagged a lucrative endorsement from the Depends Corporation — nice work, Harry!

Don’t these guys know when to quit, Dick Jones wants to know?!

“Bulk It Up, Jared!”

Looks like Dick Jones’ favorite prisoner is fishing for a Dunkin’ Donuts endorsement gig; to wit:


I hope that we continue to get “In (Big) House” reports on our boy Jared — Dick Jones predicts even MORE serious weight gain after the Boys In Orange punch “Cho-Mo’s” teeth out, forcing him to rely on a steady diet of “man relish”.

“Yeah, Cho-Mo didn’t give a very good blowjob until after we punched all his teeth out — now that mouth is SO scha-weet! That boy can TOSS a salad, doncha know…”