When you see a doughnut…

…get up and get a glass of water instead:


O.K. researchers – let Dick Jones know EXACTLY how many times out of a hunnert that this “actually” works! Doughnut? Glass of water? Let me think about THAT one for exactly…Whoops – too late; napkin please!


Gravitational Waves Detected!

Ain’t no new news to Dick Jones!


Hell — all these geniuses would have had to do is come to Dick Jones’ house on ANY given day and watch him doing his daily House Boy Chores — there they ARE, pulling that scoopful of protein powder JUST enough to cause some of it to cascade down the side of his mixer-cup. And that sandwich — off the plate it GOES, on its way from the kitchen to the recliner:


Yep — Dick Jones can say with unequivocal CERTAINTY that “gravitational waves” are in full force here in the Jones Household — and getting stronger ever’ day! Now where MY government grant is, I wanna know?!

Praise The Lord…

…and pass the pedophile” — that’ll be the new prayer at whatever GrayBar Hotel that THIS guy lands up in:


I’m guessing that he won’t be needing those thick glasses no more, since the only thing HE is gonna be looking at is the big bag o’ prison laundry that he’ll be draped over pretty much 24/7, as the rest of the prison “congregation” gives him his fair share of Karmic Payback. At least those big ears will give the Boys In Orange a good handhold whaddya think? Dick Jones loves him a happy ending!