“Inkin’ Ain’t Thinkin’!”

Yeah, O.K. – at 59.6 years old, Dick Jones is officially a fucking fossil! And yeah, I’ve done some pretty stupit thangs in my life too, and have the scars to prove it – broken nose ’cause I just HAD to have the last word one time too often, various road rash scars from bicycle crashes, and incision marks from various surgeries, just to name a few.

But one thing that old geezer DJ DON’T have, and that’s even ONE tattoo – ’cause I’ve known since I was still crappin’ my own pants (which I’ll be doin’ AGAIN in just a few short years, if I’m lucky enough to live ’til my 80’s) that Inkin’ Ain’t Thinkin’!

As a good friend of mine says: “I think I’ll be different and go get some tattoos – like ever’body ELSE!” GeezFuckinChrise’ – I can’t even go to the grocery store without being visually BOMBARDED with this hideousity!

And girls – wanna know how to ruin a perfectly good tit? Get a mutha-fuckin’ TATTOO planted on it, THAT’s how! It’s a freakin’ epidemic in moronicy is what it is; apparently I ain’t the only old fuck that’s bitchin’ about it neither:



O.K. – DJ rant off – I gotta get home from the Starbucks/Tattoo Display Station – my soup’s gettin’ cold. The GOOD news? At least now you don’t have to wait for the average retart to open his/her mouth to PROVE that they were oxygen-deprived in the womb…



Did Dick Jones Wake Up In A Foreign Country?

I’ve never (knowingly) drank goat’s blood, although I DID drink a “questionable” Bloody Mary one Sunday morning a few years ago, but after reading this article this morning, I must ask myself whether I have somehow been transported to a foreign country – Haiti perhaps?


We’ve all heard that “there’s no such thing as bad publicity” – I’m guessing that this adage will categorically NOT apply to THIS fucking pilgrim; unless of course there’s a large Santeria population in his district – in which case: