Foreign Accent Syndrome…

…that’s right kids – imagine this scenario: You go to sleep sounding just the same as you always sound, then you wake up with a totally different accent:

Sounds like bullshit, right? Well I’m here to tell ya’ – this IS no laughing matter! This very same thing happened to my best buddy and me ~40 years ago – I took the train down to his dorm in Phillie from New Brunswick when we were both back in our college days – got there on a Friday night, and ever’thang was normal.

We went out to dinner, came back to his room, went to sleep – and when we woke up the next morning, we BOTH found ourselves talking like pirates for the entire weekend! I can tell ya’ – this is FAR worse than speaking in a French accent; I mean, talk about calling attention to yourself! When was the last time that YOU heard someone talking like Long John Silver, excepting the last time that “Treasure Island” ran on Turner Classic Movies? Hell – it took us 20 minutes to order our cheesesteaks at Jim’s Steaks – the clerk had a bit of a time with all the “thee’s, ye’s, and thou’s. He finally got it right after my buddy threatened to keel-haul him; shiver me timbers!

Luckily, we were both able to shuck the pirate jive talkin’ at the same time – we ate 152 TastyCake Butterscotch Krimpets, projectile-vomited them 20 minutes later, fell asleep in a state of exhaustion, and woke up speaking normally once again.

TastyCakes – looks to be “The Cure” for Foreign Accent Syndrome – file it away in your memory banks if this affliction ever affects YOU, Maties! Ye’ wouldn’t wanna be swinging from the hightest yard arm or walking the plank, now would ye’?



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