The Geico Gecko

Is there anyone out there besides ME that wants to squash that slick-talking, fancy British-accented little son of my beech I wanna know? “Oh—you’re gonna buy my insurance, because I am a vulnerable little lizard with a sophisticated tone and demeanor—which means that I’m really talking DOWN to you, even that you’re bigger than me and could crush me with a single application of your Nike Air.”

Well I say THIS: “Shut your little grub hole and crawl back to the safety of whatever rock you were hiding under, before Dick E. Jones drives the fuck OVER you in his AAA-insured 14 year old SUV, then brakes; then backs the fuck OVER you, then brakes; then drives the fuck OVER you one MORE time—you green & crimson road pizza. “You’re Only Human”—No shit, and I’m behind the wheel of a 4,000 pound instrument of Mechanized Death, you little fuck; here I COME…

Ah, I feel better ALREADY…


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