Dihydrogen Monoxide – $4.99/Gallon!

Now, I’m rather fond of dihydrogen monoxide – I drink it, I splash my face with it; hell, sometimes I even BATHE in the stuff! And I’ll buy it too – for one American dollar/gallon, which is pretty much “the going rate” for a decent gallon of the stuff. But FOUR-FUCKIN’-NINETY-NINE?! ‘Dis must be some MAGIC H20, right here:


Now, even though I live in The Land Of Fruits & Nuts, I’m fairly confident that this magical Alkaline Water ain’t jumpin’ off the shelves. Shit, for fi’ dollahs, I sure as FUCK better “have an erection that lasts more than four hours”, and/or be losing a pound of unwanted fat/day while eating a bucket o’ The Colonel’s best…


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