“It’s All About The Children”

How many times have we heard THAT one, right? In responding to a recent comment by a loyal reader, this OVER-FUCKING-USED comment chuffed its way back into what’s left of my consciousness. “Now wait a derned minute—whaddya MEAN, Dick? Is it NOT “all about the children”? Just because you don’t HAVE any children, does this mean that you HATE children? Just because you didn’t have “Ozzie & Harriett” as YOUR Mom & Dad, that’s no reason to not like children; don’t forget, YOU were a child once too!”

No, I don’t have children, fair readers—NEVER EVER wanted to have ’em; steered clear of THAT chunk of responsibility with ZERO regrets to THIS day. And I like ’em just FINE, just like I like dogs—just not for ME…

I’m not alone neither; hell, most-a my friends don’t have children (Coincidence? I don’t THINK so!) neither. We all made conscious, deliberate, and consistent choices throughout our respective lives to sidestep that responsibility—haven’t felt “guilty” about that decision for THIRTY SECONDS my entire life! In the words of a prominent doctor friend of mine—”How did you get SO smart SO young?!”—this after writing yet another “handout check” to one of HIS kids to bail him/her out of the “Jam Du Jour”…

So—where’s this going, you ask? Let’s get back to the title of today’s Blog entry—”It’s all about the children”—is there ANYONE reading this right now who HASN’T heard that? And I’ll bet that MOST of you have even nodded/voiced agreement of same, right?

Well, here’s MY problem with it—IF it is INDEED “all about the children”, then please tell me EXACTLY what ANY childrens’ incentive(s) would be for fucking GROWING UP then? Shit—the way children are fairly CODDLED today—virtually SHOWERED with front-row, center-stage, in-the-spotlight CONSTANT attention, adulation, praise, and 24/7 adoration—what POSSIBLE reason would there be to leave THAT behind?!

The Free World has been PUMMELING its children with this devious collective mindset for the last 35 years, by my count—”You came in fifth place, Honey—now here’s your trophy!” Or “I know you can’t find a job in your ‘specialty’ (the one *I* paid $250K for you to get at that fancy Ivy League college that you HAD to go to)—don’t worry about it! Of COURSE it’s O.K. to come back and live here with us until you find a ‘proper’ job. In the meantime, please allow ME to pay for that new $2,000.00 tattoo!”

Yep, it’s “all about the children” all right. My advice? Do not EVER grow up, Kiddies—’cause once you DO, the joy-ride is OVER!


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