Invite From A Neighbor

“Would you be, could you be—my neighbor?” So I’m outside the casa this afternoon, picking up some yard detritus after the last two days’ wind & rain that blew through SoCal, when one of my neighbors sees me and comes over to introduce himself; us having only lived here for a few months.

We chat for a few minutes, trade a few laughs at some politicians’ expense, and then he says to me: “Hey, ya’ know what? I’m gonna have a little “get together” this evening over at my house—you oughtta swing by!” “O.K.”, says I.

“I gotta warn you though, my parties are known to get a little “wild”—there WILL be some drinking going on there.” “Hell, I got no problem with THAT, neighbor”, I tell him.

“That’s good”, he says; we both laugh a bit. “And another thing I gotta warn you about—there could be some pot-smoking happening.” “That don’t confront me neither” I tells him.

“Bully!” he replies. “And you know, there might be some swearing and loud music happenin’ too.” “Sounds like MY kinda party!” I reassure him; we both laugh again…

Then he pulls in close to me and lowers his voice a bit—”Now, with all this drinking, smoking, swearing, and loud music ’til all hours, there COULD end up being some FUCKIN’ goin’ on too”—at this point, he pauses tentatively.

“Well hell—whatever gets you through the night” I say. “I’ll bring some h’ors d’euvres; how many people do you expect?” I ask. “Oh, it’ll just be the two of us” as he walks away…

“You’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy.” Wonder what I should wear…

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