Can ya’ make any MORE noise?!

My next door neighbor uses these two Mexicans to do his yard every week. Now, there’s no surprise in THAT per se; here’s MY beef with them: Firstly, they have THE loudest lawn mower on EARTH! It’s a Snapper, but it can NOT have a muffler anymore. Secondly, they take forever and two days to actually MOW my neighbor’s yard; shit – I used to mow five fuckin’ ACRES as a kid in less time than these yucks. Add a 2 stroke engine weed whacker and a 2 stroke engine “backpack” blower into the mix…

But WAIT – there’s MORE! As they’re mowing and blowing, they INCESSANTLY blather back and forth to each other in Spanish the ENTIRE time they’re working – they sound like a couple of Mexican auctioneers, f’er fucksake! And of course, since their equipment is so earsplittinloudenboomer loud, they have to yell at 115db.

My neighbor has this huge hedge between our two properties – they spent six hours yesterday, and are going on five hours (so far!) today fiddle-fucking around pruning, trimming, and blowing THAT God-Damned thing; they got here at 7:20AM! Sufferin’ Jesus Christ – the “carbon footprint” they made in the last two days musta raised the temperature 2 degrees worldwide!

The cherry on the sundae is – his yard looks like SHITE! They scalp the crap out of the grass by mowing too much/too close, it’s overwatered and underfertilized; my two guys spend 30 minutes/week on MY yard, and it looks like the 18th green at The Masters. I gotta laugh – when I first moved in, these yucks had been taking care of MY yard – they asked me if I wanted them to continue. I bit all over my tongue telling them – “Ah no; I’ll be using MY guys, thanks.” Three months later, and my guys have pretty much “fixed” the lawn mayhem that these chowderheads have created.

There’s an ass for every seat, Kids!

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