We made the motorhome trek to CA successfully, with one 91-year old and four cats

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Gee, just yesterday I was feeling a bit risqué at taking my shirt off for a bit of sun at the pool!

We made the motorhome trek to CA successfully, with one 91-year old and four cats. We’re living in a predominantly “Gen-X” 732-unit apartment complex here in Newport Beach, which we have affectionately named “the dorm”.

This is “The Land of The Silicone Breasticles”. Seriously, I’ve NEVER seen SO many tit-jobs! I think it’s de rigueur for one’s 12th birthday present here, if you’re a female. It occurs to me that if you REALLY wanted to make a financial killing out here, you would open a combination Tattoo/piercing/breast augmentation parlor — “All three jobs at once under general anesthesia — three interest-free payments!”

Every day is like a freak show here — you can cut the insecurity with a McCullough! This HAS to be THE “One-upmanship” capital of the free world! People will sell their houses to buy 50 feet away if the view is 10% better! Houses built from modified Subzero refrigerator crates — $800K and up — 6 feet apart — I’m NOT making this up!

Ferrari’s, Rolls’, Lamborghini’s, and cars with names I can’t even spell. Strip malls cover EVERY square inch of un-housed land — how can they all stay in business? Two of the SAME grocery store chain less than one mile apart! Great food, great weather, great flora & fauna (I don’t know WHAT that means, but I LOVE the way it sounds!).

People bitch and moan about the commute, yet they will NOT pay $3/day to drive on the new toll roads — driving on one of those is like a flashback to “The Stand”. Couples would rather pay $500K for a house with a 75 minute commute and 3K square feet, than $900K for a house with a 10 minute commute and 1500 square feet.

Peggy Sue’s job is proving to be interesting — her new company is like that big one in New Jersey that we all know and love — multiple tiers of managers managing managers managing a few actual workers — said workers being exactly three times as many as are actually necessary to get the actual work at hand done.

“The Meeting” is king — schedule yourself for as many meetings as possible, so you can feel like you’re actually productive. Look busy and act busy — then you’ll actually BE busy — and we’re not talking about the government here! This is a PRIVATELY held company! “Dilbert” gots nuthin’ on this place!

Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but I’m late for a meeting with an investor on that aforementioned “Combo Parlor” concept — we’re gonna need LOTS of managers — you in?

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